The paradox in submission to my husband from my experience is that the greater I submit my agenda, my direction, the more my husband asks me to become a greater part of his life, his every decision.Submission has bad connotations in the world today. Outside of Christ, submission is equated to weakness. Shouldn’t I feel degraded by submitting? Aren’t I missing out on life by not following my dreams? Aren’t I equal and shouldn’t I have equal say in all we do?
If you were to ask my husband, he would say that I am his equal, or better. (He loves me.) Being his equal doesn’t mean that I need to have my way half the time, or that we should split up all our duties equally. Submitting doesn’t lower my status as a human. It merely means that I acknowledge him as the leader of the grand adventures of our family, and that I support him in any way that I can to be successful in his role as leader. I am his wife, lover, and support staff. I want him to succeed in all he does.
What happens if my leader makes poor choices? I pray that God allows him to see the consequences of his poor choices. I pray that God gives me the grace to deal with the consequences without become bitter or angry. I pray that the choices prompt both of us to turn to God for greater wisdom in all aspects of life. And I control my tongue.
I trust that if God tells me I must submit to my husband, only good will come of it. And only good has come of it. By submitting, I am freed from focusing on my own desires and am able to serve my husband. Since my submitting (which was slow since it took me awhile to figure out what submission really was) I see a huge healing in our marriage. My husband now looks to me as part of him in every aspect of his life. Before submission, we were two independent people trying to figure out how to love each other while still doing our own thing.
And the greatest part is that instead of having separate dreams for our lives, we now have the same dream. God changed my heart to truly desire my husband’s dream. And the dream is coming true.