Some of mine:
- follower of Christ
- homeschool mom
- paper lover
- that woman who keeps changing her hair color
This August, I joined Jan Avallena in her Shine Bright E-Course. (Next round begins in October. I highly recommend!) With the e-course, I was expecting to be inspired, to find insight, and to be able to share in safe community, and have received all of these things. But the timing of this e-course has allowed for such clarity on many questions I’ve been wrestling with this summer. We are only half way through with the course and I can easily say it is a pivot point for me.
One a-ha in the e-course happened yesterday when I wrote “I am losing that desire to “be something” and instead just be.” So I pondered; just what I have been trying to be? And it hit me. I have been trying to create a business out of my creative life and in doing so, I have been forming myself into what I perceive a creative entrepreneur with my skill set should be and do. And I really don’t fit the mold I envision. I’m coming to realize that many of my time wasting habits, such as checking my facebook and email a bazillion times a day, or just wasting my day on the computer running down rabbit holes, are just to distract myself from doing the things I think a “successful” creative entrepreneur would be doing. A couple words come to mind: procrastination and self-sabotage.
Perhaps entrepreneur is not the right label for me just yet. My heart’s desire is to continue to learn and grow as an artist and to inspire others to find the creativity within themselves. Perhaps I don’t even like the idea of a my creativity being defined in the business realm. I don’t know. That’s something I’ll be wrestling with a bit more. The really nice thing is I have time.
Other astounding revelations learned this summer:
- Bird watching is more fascinating than facebook
- I really don’t need coffee to survive
- An afternoon nap hits the spot
- Playtime is essential