Amanda Jolley

Reflection on pattern and abstraction of the subconscious


Have you ever had that feeling, the feeling you’ve had enough? Enough of fitting the program, of subtle invasive works, thinking something has to be done, but not really understanding the reason why except that it is expected and it is “good.”

Record of the Times 3

We made a difficult decision this year, leaving the church our family has attended for the past 10 years. We needed to make the change because there was a subtle implication of needing to fit the program to win the prize. We saw one family member being impacted so negatively that we could no longer remain. Turns out after leaving and processing about the whole paradigm, our family has discovered that we were each affected by the nudge to either conform or “not be a real Christian” or just not be enough.
Record of the Times 2

After church shopping, we have settled into a very restful environment. None of us have been grilled about our Bible knowledge or discipleship experience. We have not been expected to just step in and fit. I have felt such belonging and peace from our first visit. This made me hunger for more, and upon returning time and again, I found the rest that I didn’t even know I needed.
Record of the Times 5

At our new home, we find there is no subtle underlying guilt message that if we were real Christians we would (fill in the blank)_______________________.
Record of the Times 4

Within this place of rest, I have discovered the most wonderful thing. I am now gratefully and humbly living from the heart Jesus gave me. My whole family seems more relaxed and able to be who they were made to be organically. This rest thing is a paradox. Within rest from works, I am able to operate and do the things God has planned for me rather than man.  I am accomplishing more, growing more, and desiring more and more intimacy with my Savior. I am finally enough.
Record of the Times 1

Please join me at my new church home this coming First Friday in the Crossroads:

Date: Friday, June 1, 2012
Time: 6-9pm
Place: Bridgeport Church, 404 E 18th, Kansas City MO 64108

Title:  Encaustic Tales

Encaustic medium, a blend of beeswax and damar resin and often pigment, is melted, painted and fused with heat to create a fluid, painted surface. The luminous qualities, texture and essence of the beeswax invite a full sensory experience for the painter and observer. The show, Encaustic Tales, shares stories of synchronicity between the intuitive subconscious and connection with the Creator. Each painting is full of symbology directly relevant to spiritual growth of the artist.

7 Comments on “Enough”

  1. Great news. I understand how it feels to be in a church just like the one your family left. I love your art in the photos. Simply beautiful.

  2. I’m so proud to call you my friend. I’ve been trusting for God’s goodness on your family in this new place since we talked. Like Sandy said your art IS beautiful. Here’s hoping you post photos from First Friday….since I won’t be able to attend. 🙂

  3. I find it curious how much boats are a reoccurring theme in our art. Don’t worry, I have no desire to buy one, at this point.

  4. By God’s grace and goodness we are all loved more than we deserve. Some are so boxed in by their fear and rules they can’t see the needs others have and certainly cannot reach out of the box to lend a hand or ear or heart. I am so thankful you were able to break out and found the freedom to love your family and the world. May your faith/life journey be full of joy. Can’t wait to see your expressions this Fri and learn from you Sunday.

  5. So good to read this today, after teaching Sunday school (and believe me, that is a title I was pretty sure no one would ever want *me* to hold). The church I attend emphasizes seeing the Christ presence in everyone, and there are a lot of “refugees” who sound like you in that they’ve often fled from congregations full of people who are authorities on being “good Christians.” Good for you, and good luck on the show.

  6. Your artwork is wonderful! I am so glad you have found a new spiritual home….wishing you well for the future!! You seem to have made the best choice for yourself and your family.

  7. I wish you well tomorrow, Amanda.

    Enjoy the blessing of a new church home. Finding a “new” church is like trying to join a new family. Not an easy prospect, but worth the effort.

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