Amanda Jolley

Studio Joy

Can you love something to life?

The typology test I took recently has given me much to ponder. After reading the tendencies of an INFP, I can think of so many instances of my childhood that already defined this personality type.

I remember being at JCPenney and finding an aisle of Sesame Street stuffed characters. One Grover from a full row of Grovers was alive to me. We shared a spiritual bond. None of the other Grovers were alive. I brought this Grover to my mom and explained to her why I wanted to bring him home. She told me Christmas was coming. I proceeded to tell to her that if I put this Grover back, the person who bought me Grover would not know which one to pick. I may never see this Grover again! My dear mother saw the true spirit within me and bought that Grover. She knew I was not manipulating her. I didn’t get Grover until Christmas, but what a grand reunion we had.

My favorite books as a child included The Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams and When We Were Very Young by A. A. Milne. Both of which touch on the imagination of a child actually being reality. I also enjoyed Ragged Ann & Andy but had the underlying feeling that the stories actually mocked the true aliveness of the dolls. The Velveteen Rabbit was my absolute favorite. It brought me to tears every time I read it. Inside me was the belief that if you loved something hard enough, it would come to life.

Reflecting on my life, this same truth has echoed through my adult years. This belief explains my inherent love for the underdog. If I love the underdog enough, the underdog will come to life and succeed. Before I was a born again believer, my passion was often misplaced. I did not understand it and made many wrong choices because of it. My friends were often not ideal, especially in my parents’ eyes. My parents were correct, but I had the thought that if I did not love them, who would?

Now that I am a believer, I can see God using this passion within me for His good. He placed it there for His glory. He is the One that used this “personality trait” to pray for a very dear friend that struggled with drug addiction even though we were 15 hours apart and out of touch. She is now a believer living a beautiful new life. He is the one that brought me to love our neighborhood prostitute to life. She is now going through drug rehab in prison and talks to me of how the Bible is carrying her through. I certainly don’t want to imply that my love brought either of these friends to Christ, but I do believe that God used my passionate love to speak to their hearts about His great love. I can now see it as a picture of God’s unfathomable love for His creation. He did love us to death so that we could truly live.

amanda ∞

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