Amanda Jolley

Studio Joy


Art Every Day Month – Day 8

This intuitive collage in my Moleskine was actually begun some time ago. The painted background and words “still learning to define healthy boundaries” had been sitting there waiting for me to finish. Today was the perfect day as boundaries become a relevant topic.

This past year I have learned so much about healthy boundaries. Seems I have been deficient in this area my entire life. At least that explains the over-extended life and the many compromises I have allowed. So I have been practicing setting boundaries for myself since reading this highly recommended book.
The paradox with setting boundaries is that the more “rules” I put in place to protect myself and guard my time, the more free I become to embrace what I love and be who I am without compromise. I am learning areas in which to place boundaries as they come up. Some are easy, others much more difficult to define.

Today I faced a lack of boundaries in the business realm. A client used specific words as a set up to negotiate a price. I felt manipulated, but because this was a client, I answered without thinking the whole thing through. After this incident I was angry at myself for making assumptions and not responding properly. This incident allowed me the opportunity to study my lack of boundaries in this area and set up some new rules for myself. I didn’t see this weak spot, but after today’s experience, I am prepared.

Manipulation in all its subtle forms has no place in my life. Whether it be friends, family, clients, church, sales pitches, whatever, I no longer tolerate or allow manipulation to sway my thinking, that is when I catch it in time. Sometimes it can be pretty sly.

amanda ∞

5 Comments on “Boundaries”

  1. I definitely think I need to read this book. I know we have so many similarities, and I often think of how I want to be headed in the same direction I see you going. I am so glad God has given you the grace to know and grasp so very clearly (I understand it is incrementally) what his vision is in your life. You are always such a blessing to me my dear friend!

  2. Well said. Boudaries are a necessary evil in today’s world. I need to put some boundaries in place, not only in my business life, but also in all areas of my life.

  3. I have been working on boundaries too. I have been reading Setting Boundaries With Your Adult Children. What I have learned that is most helpful has been the definition of enabling. Doing something for someone else that they could do for themselves. That made it easier to differentiate what it means to enable my disabled daughter. But, truthfully, it still feels icky and I am feeling a little bad about what is going on.

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