Fragmentation

Perhaps its the change of the season, the beautiful leaves changing to brilliant yellow, orange, red, the chill in the air. Perhaps its my INFP desire for deeper meaning. Or my upcoming trip to Amsterdam in which my focus will be on absorbing the new sights and spiritual insights. Perhaps the Holy Spirit is speaking to my heart. Whatever the cause, I have had a desire for more lately; more focus, more discipline, more passion. I find myself more cautious, less random, about where I plant my next step.

So this is affecting how I spend my time. Facebook, Twitter, you leave me empty. Although I do enjoy making small connections with so many people, the disjointedness of it all just leaves me hungry for real relationship. Instead of spending how much time (I really don’t want to add it up) just stopping by to check what’s going on in the world, I want to step out the door and kick the black walnuts and acorns around as I walk to You Say Tomato for a piece of pumpkin pie. In so doing, I will engage with real people, hear voice inflections, and find out truly how some of my friends are doing right then.

I’ve also noticed that Facebook and Twitter have affected my thinking. I no longer think in “story-line” form, but rather in status updates. My story has been reduced to a certain number of characters, some words abbreviated to fit. As a child, my world played out to me as a grand story in which I was the main character. My thoughts were often played out speaking of myself in 3rd person. “As she walked the door to greet the world, she was in turn greeted by the chirping squirrel shaking his tail. Was he scolding her?” I want this back.

And yes, Facebook and Twitter have affected my blogging time. Why blog when I’ve just spouted to the world what is going on in my life in one sentence? But I am a writer at heart. A status update does not satiate the desire to spin words, to express myself fully. I am so thankful for blogging. Through my blogging journey I have learned so much about life, relationships, art techniques, conflict resolution, both by blogging and by reading others thoughts. My personal goal in blogging is to share my story so that others may be uplifted, inspired, connected. To celebrate my blogging journey, I’ve started my 3rd blog (3 1/2 if you count the experimental Blogger blog). I have plans with this one, long-term plans, so it will be changing and morphing over time, but for now it is just like the last one with just a little more intentionality and hopefulness that my desire for less fragmentation will bring more activity here.

Status update: Off to Zumba

amanda ∞

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One thought on “Fragmentation

  1. Julie says:

    [My personal goal in blogging is to share my story so that others may be uplifted, inspired, connected] Amanda, I have always enjoyed your blog. Whenever my life is off balance, I think of you and try shifting gears. For me, the jury is still out on facebook. My extended family uses facebook to keep in touch. My Dad had 9 siblings. So, I have over 50 first cousins. In my life BF (before facebook), I didn’t know very much about many of them, not even their children’s name. I love that I have a way of connecting. But, yes, it is superficial. And, I am not a small talk kind of person… I would way rather get to know a few people well than have hundreds of acquaintances.

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