Category: Myself

Dec 31

Honor is an action verb

Choosing a word as a theme for the coming year has become a tradition for me. I have found that for each word chosen, the year has unfolded with a deep tie to it’s meaning. This past week I have been rolling around ideas, but the word, HONOR, envelops all the other choices.

Honor (verb): to regard or treat (someone) with admiration and respect : to regard or treat with honor

My journey the last few years has brought me to freedom. I feel God gave me a time of rest and showed me who He made me to be. This path has been very self focused, but necessary. But now I sense a shift. Solid in who I am, it is now time for me to become very intentional in honoring my Creator. The most awesome result from honoring God is that everyone is positively affected by it. God is just cool like that.

My plan:

  • Honor my husband, my children, my mother and father, and in-laws by planned and impulsive acts of love and respect.
  • Honor all those I come in contact with by kindness no matter their own behavior and not based on their accomplishments.
  • Honor God by being my true self, by worshiping creatively, and by listening for His direction.
  • Honor my body which is the temple of the Holy Spirit by right eating, exercise and proper rest.

Which means:

  • My mouth will need to blab less and my ear engage more so that I can sense the needs of others.
  • I will have to stretch myself in thinking of tangible ways to honor others. Action is key.
  • Self-discipline and go-with-the-flow will have to meet up and make friends.
  • Intentional communication with God is essential. I must view studio time, Bible reading, and prayer as priorities so that I hear my Father above the din of life.

Wow, writing this out makes it sound like work, but really I’ve already been haphazardly living this way. Choosing the word, HONOR, just brings a greater focus on what has already been knocking on the door of my heart. And I must share a link to an awesome sermon about honor given this fall at my church: Graceway 110611 by Jeff Cox. Yes, it was influential in my thinking.

Fabric & encaustic

What is your word for 2012? Please share a link in the comments if you have blogged about it. I want to know.

15 comments Posted in Even This Is Art, God's leading, God's Word, Hidden Art, Myself, Relationships
Nov 15

Scripture pendants

AEDM Day 15

Scripture pendants cutScripture pendants wrapped
Scripture pendants almost done

More soldering. I’m so torn. I love wax, but lately the soldering has won the call.

I’m sure nobody noticed that I missed AEDM Day 14. I noticed, because when I slipped into my cozy nest of a bed, I was a bit sad about the end of the day coming before I was done with it. I have not created art every day in November for any of the years that I have participated in the AEDM challenge, but have rather learned to be gentle with myself about expectations.

Tomorrow I need to go on a glass run.

 

6 comments Posted in Art, Art Every Day, God's Word, Myself, soldered, Worship
Nov 08

Word flow

AEDM Day 8

Today I wrote and wrote and wrote so many drafts for a guest blog post. Several angles sounded flat. My chief editor said, “It has no heart.” (I love his honesty.) Back to the first draft. Swip swap.

I find joy in writing. Stream of consciousness is how the words flow. Then piecing thoughts together like a good Mexican train, matching what fits, leaving out what doesn’t. Finally comes the carving, the fine tuning, semantics.

So soon and very soon, you will get to read the guest blog post. I will sleep on it, submit it, and then let you know when it’s posted.

3 comments Posted in Art Every Day, Blogging, Myself
Nov 22

Loving self

Art Every Day Month – Day 21
Canvas prep
Canvas prep for Faces: All Norah’s online workshop. I am ready to learn.

November has always been a stressful month for me. In years past, I struggled with seasonal affective disorder. Last year I was unaffected, and no noticeable signs this year either. I attribute the change to a very proactive stance, progesterone cream, and emotional growth. Nonetheless, November is still stressful. It is that month when I begin preparing for the continuum of celebrating and gathering and gift giving. With family traditions and a daughter’s birthday thrown in there, we are preparing for or celebrating an event until Jan. 2. I love all of these things. I just do not like the preparation, the shift in being.

I will remind you that I am an introvert. Although I do love being with others, my battery is recharged by alone time. It seems to be ultra-charged by creative time, so while being active with art every day may appear to work against the time constraints added by preparations and travel, I am so energized by taking moments to refocus and recharge. What may appear to add more stress by giving me more to do is actually decreasing my stress level because I am taking care of my most self-loving needs.

My favorite book says we should love others as we love ourselves.

Matthew 22:37-39  Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.  (38)  This is the first and great commandment.  (39)  And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.

I am limited in my capability to love others fully if I am drained and barely hanging on. Nurturing self, treating self with kindness and respect, is essential in the ability to love others selflessly. By setting proper boundaries for myself and prioritizing my most essential needs, I am really loving others more completely. I am equipping myself with the ability to give from a very full tank.

Because I am married to one who always looks at the other side, I will answer the antagonist retort. There will always be times in life in which we are out of control, in which we are not able to nurture ourselves because our lives have been so drastically smacked with shock that we turn to survival mode. There may be times in every person’s life in which nurturing self is not an option. Corrie Ten Boom immediately comes to mind.

In addition to survival mode, everyone has past wounds. I am intentionally working to heal these wounds, and training myself for that day in the future when I will have no option to nurture self. I am learning to become so in love with who God made me that when that point does occur for me, I will still have love to pour out for others. At all points, I will draw from the strength that sustains me.

Philippians 4:13  I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

amanda ∞

3 comments Posted in Art Every Day, God's Word, Myself
Nov 03

Procrastination

Sometimes when something is bothering me, I procrastinate doing what I love best. What would soothe and process upsetting thoughts would be to engage the right side of my brain, but I find so many other things that “just have to get done.”

Today I almost allowed my whole day to pass without giving myself the gift of artistic expression, but I am learning, growing, and working beyond what would have shut me down in the past. I am thankful that it is Art Every Day Month and I have my goal set.

I present to you my token and representation of love for myself, a Zentangle, for AEDM Day 3:
Zentangle

amanda ∞

1 comment Posted in Art Every Day, Myself
Jul 15

Summer Self Portrait = Meanderings While Sweating

IMG00057.jpg on Twitpic
I sit in the heat of summer with my familiar perspiration making my face glow. (If only the models would realize that sexy shine comes from SWEAT.) The windows are open this evening, fans pushing air through the house. I have come to love the heat of summer permeating the air of my home. I choose open windows over air conditioning. What began as stubbornness a few years ago has become my preference. I was tired of giving my money to the electric company as their rates continued to rise. Now I am thankful.

IMG00055.jpg on Twitpic

Each day this summer I awaken and run a load of laundry through the washer. Then I retreat to my art studio with espresso in hand. My Bible opens and I soak in God’s amazing and living Word. I feel it penetrate to that inner chamber, that same chamber that was once sealed shut. Now the doors are flung open hungry for more truth, more love, more life. And I am ready for this day ~ whether gladness or suffering comes my way, my foundation is beneath my feet.

IMG00053.jpg on Twitpic

The temperature rises, the laundry flaps and snaps on the line. Through the open windows I can hear the birds, the loud song of the cicada, the poetry of the cottonwood. When I step outside I am not struck by a wave of heat. The warmth of summer has already permeated my home and my bones. The out of doors beckons me. I no longer dread what summer has to offer, but embrace it. As I wash dishes the sweat runs off my head dripping as the steam rises from water. As I pull weeds, the sweat rolls down my chest. Dirt is in my fingernails. Ice cream is prepared, mosquitoes slapped. It is hot. It is summer.

amanda ∞

13 comments Posted in God's Word, Hidden Art, Myself
Apr 14

Artfest

Artfest caused yet another shift within me. Surrounded by such beauty and so many others who think in ways similar to me, I felt that if I did have a place I fit on this earth, I had found it. I have never felt more comfortable around so many people I’d just met. Just being around so many other creative minds gave me such confidence in my own path. I envisioned and set goals, became more firmly established, found more of my self.

Now I am back to my “normal” life. Taxes and traveling over the weekend have caused me to push into high gear to get several much needed projects done while still maintaining the balance with homeschooling and my husband’s business. I feel a mellowness setting in where there once would have been stress. My dreams and goals are pushing me past this time of “catch up” to that of grand plans in my art studio.

I will share more fully over the months about specifics, the classes I took, the exciting things I learned. Until then enjoy some of my Artfest Art Journal filled with treasures from other artists and the outpouring of my thoughts.

amanda ∞

12 comments Posted in Art, Art Journal, Homeschooling, Myself, Transformation
Sep 04

Brave

ArtFest 2009
ArtFest 2009

I did it. I sent in my registration for Artfest 2009 early Tuesday morning. I feel so brave.

And now, anticipation.

amanda ∞

5 comments Posted in Myself
Aug 30

Tender

This is the first page of my Moleskine. The concept for this page is from Sarah Whitmire at Caspiana and her Soul Journaling prompts. Written in sparkly gold gel pen over the green paint are the words:

This book contains TRUTH! If you are not ready to receive, this book is not for your eyes. No Judgment Allowed. Remove your lens and look through mine.

The Bible text is Ephesians 6:10-20. I glued the knight over the gesso and painted it red (washed in Christ’s blood), then glued the Bible text down, painted green over the red except over the knight (new life in Christ), and then used white gel pen to detail the red knight (Christ’s holiness and purity covering me).

It has been a week since our last meal served at VERONICA’s Voice. While I was really busy throughout the week catching up on Latin and life, the reality of this loss seems to just be hitting me. I feel as though there has been a death. My heart is grieving. I feel I am going through the stages of grief in a minor way, been through detachment and anger, and now depression. Although not truly depressed, I am feeling quite reflective and lonely. Right now I just need a shoulder to cry on, just one long good cry, so I can release this grief. I need to share all the details of what is hanging in my mind. I completely trust that God has all the details worked out, and everything will work for His glory. Right now I’m just dealing with my own tender state.

You’re probably thinking, “Oh my gosh, lady. You were just serving lunch. What is the big deal? Get over it and enjoy your free time.”

So here’s a struggle of mine on occasion, like right now: I would love to pour my heart out and let you all know all the details of why this is so difficult for me, but that might put others in a negative light. Where do I draw the line? Even if I were to tell one friend privately, where would I draw the line? How much is okay to share? Nothing, probably. If that is true, do I just absorb these emotions? If I absorb them now, how will they reveal themselves later?

Tender. Reflective. Aching.

amanda ∞

3 comments Posted in Art Journal, God's Word, Myself, VERONICA's Voice
Aug 15

If I were a cat…

cat

amanda ∞

3 comments Posted in Myself
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